After so much I've been thru during this 9 months,

Those guys who are around that I can see,

No matter how I try to look in them, I only see they have intention,

Somehow I just feel so. Seriously, I have no idea.

I just don't understand what for so crazy after you?

& you're like after others & moved on like hell long ago?

But yet I'm still staying at the past? What the F is wrong v me?

I just can't stop loving you, missing you & crying after you.

Esp the past few day, reminds me lots bout you due to CNY & Vday.

I don't think I'm over you. I can't. The feelings towards you are still so strong.

I seem like I'm having fun v friends, but I think of you every night

Even in my dreams, you're there. =(

I have no idea why I'm so crazy after you.
People are like saying me that I'm insane. Lol.
They just didn't know how much I miss how much I love you
& how much I need you back.
Perhaps, you didn't know too right?

Broken Vday.

Today's family reunion dinner.

You brought me back last year, & Now I'm wondering,

Will you bring a new girl back this year? I'm envy :( Hmmm.

This morning, I thought of you at the first thing once I woke up.

I've no idea. Out of sudden, you just pop up in my mind, I miss you.

Esp tomorrow, its Vday. I miss playing v you at the beach last year.

Idk why even if there are ppl dating me for 2mrw, I just feel like I want you.

Sigh. Why am I just can't stop thinking bout you?

Esp the Vday surprise present you gave me.

I just really couldn't stand it anymore. I don't wanna keep missing you like this.

Day after day, you know its really so hurtful?

I want you to be by my side once again, Alvin.

Esp my birthday.

I'll never forget my sweet 16 you gave me.

You surprised me darn amazing.

I wish you could tell me once again that..

"Without the love inside the ring, it will never be locked,

Just like without my love inside, you'll never be fulfilled"

You remember you've once said that?

I'll never forget. :(

& you're so romantic to give me this necklace,

just like the Stairway to Heaven's necklace.

You treated me so good, & now.. I can't get you off from my mind.

Its just another day.

With every passing day,

People take a step away from their past,

It's true, but for me,

With every passing day,

I bury you deeper into my heart.

As time passes by,

We'll slowly forget,

But with every passing second,

My regrets just adds on.

Everyday, the sun will still shine,

Rain will still fall,

Just like my love for you,

It'll always remain strong.

In life, we meet new people,

And new rooms are made in our hearts,

But when I met you,

You went in and everyone else dropped out.

I left my heart to be with you,

Hoping you'd never break it,

I know you didn't,

Instead you shattered it.

You took my dreams,

Destroying them one by one,

I never blamed you,

Because it's of no use,

Now there's no more, none..

And these memories keep pulling me back,

To the happiness I once had.

Not Over You.

Finally you're here after a month 4 days I didn't see you.

Glad to see you, the feelings were always there,

Esp when you're right beside me, have you ever realized?

Hmmm..

How can you stop the rain from falling?

How can I stop calling your name in my heart?

How can you stop the star from shining?

How can I erase my memories?

How can you make the sun rise?

How can I stop loving you?

When? When you gonna turn back & look into me?

And when? When can I get over you?

I don't understand, why do I care so much?

Why I do feel so jealous bout it?

How come I sudd feel like I'm just a simple girl who means nothing to you?

I have no idea. But seems like.. I've been real unlucky.

Sometimes there are things I'm just saying, I don't really mean it,

Esp complaining bout you, somehow, always ended up.. you misunderstood me.

Hmm, I guess I've learnt a lesson this time.

My love to you is like a tattoo, its permanent. *Rmb I said this before 2 yrs ago?

I mean it & I'll prove this.

I've been waiting for 8 months 12 days,

& still I'll keep waiting.

I miss the old you.

I can't believe I actually did all this.
I stitched, planned a bday surprise, burnt fingers lighting up candles,

Sent cupcakes to Bangi to surprise you, bought you Christmas gift & I cut. :l

Took me 3 weeks. For your 19th bday.

What for I cut for you?

Its all because.. I'm still loving you.

The best feeling is to see your msg when I'm awake,

I've been waited for so long.

Was so so happy this morning, woke up & I actually received a msg from you,

Seriously, I tot I was just dreaming. But again & again I pinched myself,

I'm not dreaming ;D Was so happy, I didn't even get to sleep back.

Best of all when you talked to me, esp to receive your call or texts. :D

All my day I spent with wondering,

Why am I still here?

Why don't I move on?

And then I realised,

I'm the one who don't want to move on,

Because if I move on where do I go?

I was in love with you and still the feelings never go

And it won't go no matter how hurt it is!

Friends are telling me "Life must go on".

Well, everybody said that,

But I don't wanna go on,

I can't go on.

I've been in the pain lately,

And crying all day & night,

Because of something that is so stupid and simple?

I'm not being myself almost 9 months,

I forgot how happy to be me when I'm v you, how to be loved & missed,

I'm just not the one I was to be.

Its simple and fast to be in love,

And its so hard and take so long to forget love. WHY?

When will you come back, Alvin Bok?

Perhaps you totally forgot bout me, esp feelings towards me? :(