I love you, Alvin B.

Cny are just in weeks time, sudd flashed back the previous cny.

You're asking me to go v you for the family reunion dinner.

It feel so blissful that time, Thank you lots for everything,

the reunion dinner, cny celebrations with your family, it makes me feel like a family.

Never been thru to celebrate with such a big family.

I missed last year cny tho, you seemed so happy when I agreed to go.

Texting with me the whole day telling me your relatives were all teasing you.

& its also your first time bringing a girl home during cny?

Well, I felt so lucky I get to be the first. But why?

But recall back all the memories, I ever love you with my sincere heart.

Yes, I've ever lied, again & again. But those are my past.

I swear I never do anything sorry to you when I'm v you.
I know you won't forgive me but just wanna tell you I'm sorry truly bout it.

You gave me the best memories, esp cny.

You really treat me as a part of your family member, & dats why you brought me back.

& you brought me to see all your family members.

Your god mother,sis & bro & even your baby-sitters.. Its so blissful to be v you.

I never regret being with you, you touched me. That's why I willingly..

open my heart widely for you, now I can't even find the feelings like I have on you

on others, only you managed to make me feel this way.

But to you, you would just tell me, slowly I'll get to find, if I didn't try I won't know.

But you didn't know in my heart now, I just wanna be with you.

& you're leaving soon, I don't even get to spend all this sweet memories v you anym.

If we're together, & you're leaving to overseas.

I'll wait for you too because I love you, I won't just let you off.

No matter how much IF its gonna hurt, still I love you lots just like now.

Silence really kills, you don't even wanna talk to me anym neither to see me.

So, I dare not go near anym, memories....

Those memories we had before I'll never forget bout it.

I miss your smile lots.

Sometimes I wonder after so long we've separated, have you ever missed me?

Recently, I learnt alot.

We should always appreciate & forgive.

I did lots of mistakes before, esp I lied to you,

Gossiping back about you,

I gotta repent now cause knowing if I keep this on,

I gonna ruin my own life.

I'm an emotional person who never look to a brighter side,

but seems like now I gotta look to the brighter side,

its just I'll always remember your love, memories & I do miss you lots.

I'm not being emo, its just I miss you.

No more talking back bout you,

Finding myself way too wrong before that,

I felt so guilty & thats why now all this I actually caused out by myself,

Hating myself bout this and still its so hard to forgive myself

cause knowing you won't forgive me.

I know you're looking forward to your life now,

you're not gonna look back cause again & again I disappointed you.

I'm sorry for what I've caused out.

Perhaps maybe you've found a girl which are way better than me out there now?

I choose not to know cause I'm afraid I can't let you go.

But I'll wish you to be happy always, anything will do s long to keep you happy.

Hope you'll have a great Chinese New year,

hoping all your relatives will be back completely this year,

last year some of them didn't come back & you brought me back,

but not a complete one, still I gotta thanks you.

So I'll pray for you to have the best this year before you leave.

& Valentine's Day fall on the same day with CNY,

You're the first person I get to celebrate with, I'll never forget,

Birthday celebration as well, you gave me the best,
for the first time I get to celebrate with the one who I really love,
and you're there to celebrate v me as a boyf. (:

Thank you for everything esp birthday celebration,
you gave me a great surprise.

& the memories we had in Genting,

I love you lots.
I know you still have lots going on in your life,
Tho you won't be reading all this but I hope
you can sense that I'll always be there for you no matter what happen.