5 months 4 days.

I've been thinking bout this for the whole night last night.
To you now, probably I'm just a girl that are immature & will never change.
No matter how I change you won't get to see it.
Cause how am I in you is just a girl that had been unfaithful to you.
& I'm a girl you will never fall for again. I've guess it right perhaps.
Why are you so hard to forget?
Everything changes in life but my love towards you did not change. Why? Idk.
I just can't seem to face the truth. I have no idea.
Every night I can't sleep well. Asking myself if should I let go?
If I keep thinking bout our memories or you just pop out in my head
then tell me what should I do so I can let go & move on my life without you?
I wonder how you feel that day when you kissed me?
But its obvious you just totally don't have the feelings anymore?
I don't know I don't know. This is driving me crazy! I hate it. Why should I face this?
I'm not over you!

Somehow no matter how hard I try to let go I can't force myself.
I tend to hurt myself even more.
I had ever told myself time will heal, perhaps afta months I'll be okay.
But 5 months 4 days passed by. How long would I take to don't even gv a darn shit?!
I hate myself for behaving like this. I'm just the immature girl afta all right?
I think too much & I keep all to myself.

Whenever I'm down, you're the one I wish I would like to share with.
But you're not here. No one is there for me.
Perhaps this is the only way I try to feel better?

You're still my friend
& I wanted to talk to you most of the time
but I ended up dare not talk to you cause whenever I talk to you
My heart beats really hard & I miss you or maybe I'm afraid you might be cold to me?
That's why everyday I wait, hoping you to talk to me.
You might feel how come every time aso you find me, I won't find you.
Probably you won't get it maybe. This is the reason why actually.
But someday you will understand I hope? (: